dakt37 asked: psst that GIF wasn't mine, it was from the person i reblogged that from XD
……Fuq.
[video]
I’ve said this three times this week to various people, and I’ll say it again.
He. is. so. damn. pretty.
(Source: trashondash, via magicaldeductions)
A certain fucking deadman just opened the bloody Olympics.
(via fyeahsherlockandjohn)
I TURNED A FCKIG CORNER AT WALMART AN THEN
You’re shopping in Walmart
There’s no one around and your phone is dead
Out of the corner of your eye you spot it
Suddenly Pasta Salad
It’s near you, about 3 feet away
It’s falls off the shelf and breaks into a sprint
It’s gaining on you!
Suddenly Pasta Salad
You’re looking for your cart
But you’re all turned around
It’s almost upon you now
And you can see there’s blood on the box
MY GOD THERE’S BLOOD EVERYWHERE
Running for your life
From Suddenly Pasta Salad
It’s brandishing a knife
It’s Suddenly Pasta Salad
Lurking in the clearance aisle
Walmart Superstar
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Living in the store
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Killing for sport
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Eating all the bodies
Actual cannibal Suddenly Pasta Salad
The store is closing
And you seem to have lost it
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself
Stranded, with a murderer
You creep silently through the freezer section
Ah-ha!
In the distance
A check out counter with a light on
HOPE
You move stealthily toward it
BUT YOUR LEG
AHH!
IT’S CAUGHT IN A STROLLER!
Gnawing of your leg
Quiet, quiet
Limping to the counter
Quiet, quiet
Now you’re at the counter
Sitting on the belt
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Sharpening an axe
Suddenly Pasta Salad
But it doesn’t hear you behind it
Suddenly Pasta Salad
You’re sneaking up behind it
Tearing open food item
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Fighting for your life with
Suddenly Pasta Salad
Wrestling a knife
From Suddenly Pasta Salad
Stab it in it’s bar code
Safe at last from
Suddenly Pasta Salad
You limp into the parking lot
Blood oozing from your stump leg
But you’ve won
You have beaten
Suddenly Pasta Saladyou win
HOW DOES THIS HAVE THIS MANY NOTES IM DYING))
I buy this shit religiously.
(via magicaldeductions)
I WANA BE THE VERY BERST
LIEK NO ONE EVUR WERS
TO CETCH THERM IS MY REEL TERST
2 TRERN DEM IS MY CEWRSE
I WILL TEREVL ACROSS DA LERND SERCHING FER EN WERD
EACH POGEMUN TO ERNDERSTERND DA POWR DATS INSEID
PERKEMERN TIS U N ME
I KNO IS MY DESTERNEY
PUHGAYMAN OH UR MAI BERST FRERND
IN A WURLD WE MUS DEFERND
POHKUMOON A HERT SEW TREWR
AWR COURERGE WIL PULL US THREWR
U TECH ME AND AIL TERCH YER, POOOKEYYYYMEERRNNN
GOTA CATCH ERM ALL, GOTTA CATCH EM ERL…
!!!
/dying
(Source: puffwiggly, via magicaldeductions)
sounds like the advanced turducken recipe geekcaver and i came up with a few years ago. it started with a chicken nugget and ended with a buffalo. we called it The Martha Stewart Clusterfuck.ah, but we alienated so many people at the dinner table that night. good times.
hahaha, that was freaking beautiful. Ah well, if they can’t deal with how strange we are, then we shouldn’t be hanging out with them for extended periods of time… for the safety and sanity of everyone involved.
And now YOU can make your VERY OWN “Martha Stewart Clusterfuck” at home! Great for large family gathering or raucous keggers! It’s easy! It’s an egg in a chicken nugget inside a fish inside a cornish hen inside a duck inside a chicken inside a turkey inside a pig in a deer in a cow in a moose inside a bison. Get creative!
